This is a late Canadian Thanksgiving and early U.S. Thanksgiving hello of random thoughts.
Writing this a couple days past the fifth anniversary of MLM’s (my little mom) death so I might be all sentimental and mushy.
Could also be the season. Autumn.
I’ve always had mixed feelings about Fall.
I love the change of seasons that seem to help manage my restless, gypsy heart.
But in Autumn especially, the colours, the coziness, and the melancholy match the memories buried shallow and deep within.
If you read my memoir, you know I was a shy kid and was bullied. Going back to school in the fall was terrifying.
Even now, so many years later, when September arrives, there’s a smouldering ember of dread in my bones.
Add to that the passing of two family members in October—MLM, and my sister-in-law two years ago (their birthdays in September and October) and you’ll understand why it’s an emotionally tough time of year for me.
I try not to dwell here, but do allow myself moments of moodiness—suppressing feelings is no healthier than letting them run amok unrestrained—then I pull myself together and get on with the good in life.
My PollyANNA kicks in.
Look for the good. Focus on gratitude. See the silver linings…
I do walk the walk; I take my own advice.
Gratitude
I’m grateful God was a sneaky monkey All That There Is and took me on a trip to Israel with MLM where I was baptized.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I did it for her, He did it for me.
As MLM used to say, “God is good.” And, “The Lord works in mysterious ways.”
Ho’oponopono.
The Hawaiian prayer: I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.
Sometimes, I’m cranky in the fall. I’m sorry, please forgive me.
But I’m always thankful for my family who go long stretches without hearing from me but always welcome me back like I was never gone.
I’m thankful for my friends who accept my introverted need for space and respect my low energy social limitations.
I’m thankful for my followers, fans and foes, who fill my love bucket with their trust and personal stories.
For the trolls, extra prayers. They may need extra love for it was the lack of love that caused them to be that way. Hurt people hurt people.
Family, friends, followers… I love you, thank you!
I’m thankful for my health, not perfect but could be worse.
I’m thankful for my home, not perfect but soon to be improving! #leakybathroom #silverlining #renovation
I’m thankful for my means of putting food (and chocolate) on the table (thank you for your chocolate donations!).
There’s a much longer list of what I’m thankful for but this short list is my sustenance.
I read somewhere that if we could only wake up with what we went to bed grateful for, we’d spend more time being thankful.
Try to find the good in everything.
Whether a gift or a lesson, there really is a silver lining in there somewhere.
You’ll feel better for it, I promise.
I wish you a warm and loving Thanksgiving filled with thanks and giving.
Giving and being thankful for forgiveness, for yourself and others.
Lots of love and hugs!
God bless,
xo Anna
