Friday: Go to Spanish class mildly hung over from the shenanigans with Montana Man (see Mexico: Week/Weak One post), which is held at the local gringos elementary school with an earthen-floor playground (as in: compacted dirt; as in: open-air outside). My school room is under a large palapa within the confines of la escuela (the […]
Mexico: Week One aka Weak One (Me)
Checklist: Make sure airplane leaves L.A. right on time—if right on time means Mexican time, which it does, then depart 45 minutes late for no apparent reason. Check. Arrive in Puerto Vallarta airport to 30 degree temperatures (celcius, that equals 85 ish for you U.S.ers) plus humidity wearing jeans and 14 layers of sweaters because […]
Warning: (r)Aging Lady. Aches and Pains and Plaque. Damn It.
I’m laying face down, almost naked save for skimpy skivvies (that be slang for panties). Can you tell my ass isn’t balanced? I ask, lifting my head. Yep, this side is more developed, he confirms. Shit. I knew it. That’s not good for your neck. I put my face down. He continues. It’s not noticeable […]
New Prescription: Red Lipstick & BJs
Mermaid, Tango and I go on a road trip to Ojai. We drive along the Pacific Coastal Highway in his red Mercedes convertible. It’s a balmy day and the top is down, so I hop in the backseat and feel like a six-year old on her way to Disneyland. Mermaid rides shotgun; her curly tresses […]
Vanity Insanity – Just to be Clear(-Skinned), I am Still Vane
There’s a dichotomy in me. I blame it on TV. Actually, more on TV commercials. And fashion/health/beauty/cosmetic-procedure(!) magazines. And Internet and mannequins in store windows—and my memories of all these things that are indelibly inked in my mind from years of subjecting myself to them. Silly-ass girl. (By the way, if/when you read my memoir, […]
To The Persons Who Jostled Past Me to Get to the Front of Yoga Line
Honestly. This happened on Christmas Eve. I understand the studio will be closed for one day people, but your names are on a list for this last [Rock Star Guru] class, there will be room for you without having to push me to get to the front of the line. If this was my first […]
New Prescription: Pork and Port
Mermaid and I go on a road trip to the Ventura Flea Market and then to Ojai, both about a 90-minute drive north of Venice Beach. Being of the eco-friendly nature, she drives a hybrid. Being of the collecting treasures kind, said hybrid is already stacked with former flea market finds: fabrics, blankets, baskets, wall […]
Silver Lining Syndrome and The Art of Acceptance OR Hiking with Strange Men
So I’m thinking to myself, “Is this guy a serial killer?” as we travel along the Pacific Coast Highway presumably to a remote (in my mind) hiking destination, me and this man who I just met. Did I mention I’m in the passenger seat of an older van with no windows, no back seats, padded […]
Is Shopping a Form of Meditation? Why, Yes, Yes it Is!
I’m in L.A. living the life of a rock star, that is if that rock star is living in a make-shift tent partitioned off the living room with a curtain in a shared house with three other people and one bathroom with mood lighting. ‘My’ attic space got rented for a 2-week period during the […]
Using the “C” Word in Public—(And the “F” Word in this Post)
Warning: This blog contains a lot of the following swears: Fuck and cellulite. I haven’t had a dose of vanity insanity since I had shit put in my chinny chin chin back when I’d first arrived in Los Angeles, home of the overdose of overdone. A Doctor Yummy in Beverly Hills put out a Groupon […]
