I’m at The Broken Spoke, an espresso-slash-bicycle shop. It reminds me of Deus Cafe in Venice, California, only Deus has pricey cafe racers and low quality coffee. The BS has affordable pedal bikes and rich, delish espresso. As a California-converted coffee snob, I now drive across town (seven minutes) for the best stuff: thick as […]
Shit Happens. And Then Sometimes It Doesn’t.
Well, darlings, even though I’m not scheduled to depart this La La Land of debauchery for another couple weeks, I’m already in the mindset of meandering north. Back “home.” Where is home to a searching gypsy-hearted soul? Not only don’t I have a nest of my own to go back to—despite desperately searching MLS listings […]
How to Build the Best Booty Everrr—Strap And Zap That Ass!
Boracay Beach, Philippines Blog Six. In the change room, I remove all my clothing and under-gear and put on the men’s size large, black shorts and t-shirt, which is not all that loose on me and clings to my pert nips. Back in the zapper room, he spritzes me all over with water and then […]
Waiting For Someone To Squeeze My Boobs.
Scene: Sitting in a coffee shop after skipping out on my MRI mammogram. I’m drinking a Canadiana—a drip coffee with a double shot of espresso that’s giving me triple-spasm jitters. (I don’t drink coffee anymore, never mind this high octane tasty tar.) So far as I know, there’s nothing wrong with my mams. I’m quite […]
The Sh*t We Talk About At Family Dinners. Warning: TMI.
(TMI=Too much info!) As you may know, my sister-in-law had cancer last year and part of this year—until part of her was removed—but you’ll be happy to know that she still has her ass and she’s cleared for take off, as in cancer-free! I didn’t divulge too much back then out of respect and because, […]
New Prescription: Red Lipstick & BJs
Mermaid, Tango and I go on a road trip to Ojai. We drive along the Pacific Coastal Highway in his red Mercedes convertible. It’s a balmy day and the top is down, so I hop in the backseat and feel like a six-year old on her way to Disneyland. Mermaid rides shotgun; her curly tresses […]
Vanity Insanity – Just to be Clear(-Skinned), I am Still Vane
There’s a dichotomy in me. I blame it on TV. Actually, more on TV commercials. And fashion/health/beauty/cosmetic-procedure(!) magazines. And Internet and mannequins in store windows—and my memories of all these things that are indelibly inked in my mind from years of subjecting myself to them. Silly-ass girl. (By the way, if/when you read my memoir, […]
New Prescription: Pork and Port
Mermaid and I go on a road trip to the Ventura Flea Market and then to Ojai, both about a 90-minute drive north of Venice Beach. Being of the eco-friendly nature, she drives a hybrid. Being of the collecting treasures kind, said hybrid is already stacked with former flea market finds: fabrics, blankets, baskets, wall […]
What’s Up Doc?—Certainly Not My pH! (Unease or Dis-ease)
May. After no holds barred à la boulangerie (French for “bakery”) in Paris whereupon I gained seven pounds in seven days despite excessive walking and ab workouts (coughing due to second-hand cigarette smoke), I’m sitting in my GP’s office with a point form list in my hand (my LMLotFM sits beside me: for comfort and […]
Family Matters, Health Matters: Mind Over Matters?
April. I went to my Metaphysical/Intuitive/Aura-reading/Psychic Shrink (MIAPS). Well, I didn’t tell you the whole story … MIAPS, reading my cards: “Mmm … karmic debt.” Me, concerned: “What? What is it?” MIAPS, sighing compassionately: “You’re here for the summer for your family.” Me, sighing relieved: “Ooh.” We’re both thoughtful for a moment. Me, resigned: “Okay. […]
