I’m laying face down, almost naked save for skimpy skivvies (that be slang for panties). Can you tell my ass isn’t balanced? I ask, lifting my head. Yep, this side is more developed, he confirms. Shit. I knew it. That’s not good for your neck. I put my face down. He continues. It’s not noticeable […]
New Prescription: Red Lipstick & BJs
Mermaid, Tango and I go on a road trip to Ojai. We drive along the Pacific Coastal Highway in his red Mercedes convertible. It’s a balmy day and the top is down, so I hop in the backseat and feel like a six-year old on her way to Disneyland. Mermaid rides shotgun; her curly tresses […]
Vanity Insanity – Just to be Clear(-Skinned), I am Still Vane
There’s a dichotomy in me. I blame it on TV. Actually, more on TV commercials. And fashion/health/beauty/cosmetic-procedure(!) magazines. And Internet and mannequins in store windows—and my memories of all these things that are indelibly inked in my mind from years of subjecting myself to them. Silly-ass girl. (By the way, if/when you read my memoir, […]
I Had a Dream … But You Don’t Have To.
Quick recap: Back in my small town in Canada I was a somebody. I had a high profile career and was very successful at it. After 20 years, many of the last of which were living in burnt out bitterness, I needed to make a change. But, I’d built up such an expectation of excellence […]
To The Persons Who Jostled Past Me to Get to the Front of Yoga Line
Honestly. This happened on Christmas Eve. I understand the studio will be closed for one day people, but your names are on a list for this last [Rock Star Guru] class, there will be room for you without having to push me to get to the front of the line. If this was my first […]
A Letter to My Dad… I Forgive You; I Apologize to You; I Thank You
Hi Dad, or should I call you Henry? It’s been so long I’m not sure how to address you anymore. I was looking at old photos the other day and thought of you. I wonder if you’ll get this, if any of it will register. Will it find you, wherever you are? I wanted to […]
And Then There Was One … As in: Me, As in: Single, Single Here! (As in: Sad sigh.)
After taking a FaceBreak for a month, I go back on social media hub central. As I’m not so inclined to browse through a month’s worth of newsfeed for ‘my closest 400+ best friends,’ I simply jump back in mid-stream. Interestingly, it is true that no one does miss you (me) when you (I) leave […]
Atonement: Love is the Answer
Last week I went to a Marianne Williamson event with my housemate, Mermaid, and another housemate, Sussex. Since Mermaid’s Prius’ backseat (and trunk) were still stocking-stuffer stacked to the brim with the numerous treasures she’s procured to resell at the next antique market, Sussex and I agree to share the passenger seat. I’m on top. […]
Today I’m Kind of Sad. And Fat.
The highlight of my week is the Wednesday Santa Monica Farmers’ Market. It’s really the only place my budget allows me to buy unabashedly; after all, I need to eat, right? Numerous vendors sell everything from chocolate mint to persimmons and to fresh-baked artisan breads, from all manner of cattle (beef, bison, pork) to the […]
What a Woman (This One) Wants in a Man aka Why I Defer to Food
I have a spreadsheet in my purse that I’ve had since 2008. It’s my Dealmakers/Dealbreakers List. Its alphabetized words are faded, scratched out, reassigned, modified and 60 points long, which is reduced from the 100 long that it used to be. The 100-long list is detailed in my memoir. (Preview/buy here.) I’ll include the updated […]
