Health Update
My health update in no particular order…
Breast Implant Illness aka BII
A specific type of breast implant is confirmed to cause of a new type of breast cancer in some women.
A gazillion studies show BII is a real condition and the FDA has finally put a black box warning on breast implants.
I know, right?
But we all know cigarettes cause cancer and they’re still legal, so if women want to embrace vanity over sanity—which I, of all people, totally understand (see memoir)—let them make an informed choice.
Live pretty and die young is a potential side effect of getting breast implants for many women, but like smoking, it’s a choice.
It’s also important to note that, like smoking cigarettes, not everyone who has breast implants will get cancer.
Nonetheless, I’m getting my implants removed.
What???
I know, I’ll miss them, too.
I’m going through with the surgery not only because of the potential health effects, but because I’m ready to get real, man—though, please note: I will remain a real woman.
I was scheduled for surgery mid October, but it got postponed because of…
Sleep Apnea
AJ definition: waking up during sleep because of a physical obstruction and/or neurological misfirings.
My sleep apnea is the former, obstructive, but triggers the latter, brain freaking out.
Because of the extent of my sleep apnea, the sleep doctor recommended being overnighted in a hospital to monitor my vitals after surgery. (So I don’t slip into a forever sleep.)
The surgeon I’ve chosen (a private practitioner) does surgeries at a day surgery centre.
My original overnight sleep study, complete with unsexy selfie, can be found in this post here.
Before getting a custom mouth apparatus, I partially (unconsciously) woke 22 times per hour (every three minutes / over 175 times) and didn’t get into deep (read: critically restorative) sleep.
I had short, shallow breathing likely caused by my sympathetic nervous system firing up.
The sympathetic nervous system is our automatic fight, flight or freeze response designed to save us when we’re in real and imminent danger—slamming on the breaks of our vehicle to avoid hitting a kid on a bicycle; being chased by a tiger; tripping and falling in front of The Gerry (or whoever your crush is).
Those sorts of things.
But when we’re asleep, fight or flight is not a good thing.
Even with my mouth appliance, I choke myself out every 3.5 minutes (17 times an hour; 135 times a night) and fight or flight kicks in by kicking up adrenaline and cortisol, and short, shallow breathing ensues. #sleeppanic
I don’t get enough oxygen and the next morning I wake up exhausted even though it seems like I’ve slept for seven or eight hours.
The sexy silver lining: because of short, shallow breathing I don’t snore. Not a peep, folks! 😉
Causes of Sleep Apnea
Sleep Apnea can also be caused by:
- Being a fatty pants. (Weight gain.)
- Food or other allergies
- Sinus congestion
- High cortisol
- Sleep medication or relaxation therapeutics
- Fungus (potentially caused by gut issues)
Eureka! This could be me!! 1-5: ✔️😳 Must get tested on #6 STAT.
Being overweight is the most common suspected cause of sleep apnea, even though not all overweight people have sleep apnea and many slim people do.
But if it is the cause, being overweight is fixable.
My sleep doctor says he’s seen many people who have a smaller lower jaw and/or a naturally narrow airway develop sleep apnea after gaining as little as 10 pounds.
I had jaw surgery many moons ago to correct an overbite, at which time I had a couple teeth removed. (Smaller lower jaw.)
I’ve also gained 10 pounds—ok, fiiiine, 15, but who’s counting? (Fatty Pants Me is.)
Central sleep apnea originates with messed up brain chemistry, and while my brain kicks in to get me breathing during sleep, it’s not the source of my sleep apnea.
How to Fix Sleep Apnea
There are a number of potential solutions for sleep apnea for which you should seek professional advice, but before you comment—publicly please so others can benefit—with your solutions, I’ll tell you what I’ve already tried:
- Dental build-ups (to reduce clenching which opens the airway: $1,800 not covered by BCMed).
- Custom mouth appliance (To keep lower jaw forward: $800 not covered by BCMed).
- Reduce sublingual melatonin at bedtime. (Too much relaxation isn’t a good thing por moi.)
- No blue light, lights, electronics, The Blacklist etc. at least an hour before sleep + blue light blocking glasses ($70 not covered by BCMed.)
- L-Theanine at bedtime and late morning. (Reduces anxiety. #plandemic)
- Elevating wedge pillow. (Helps keep tongue forward: $70 not covered by BCMed.)
- Read a print book, write in a journal, meditate (aka laying quietly hoping I’ll stop dreaming of Sex with Gerard Butler).
- APAP (A type of sleep apnea machine: $1600 not covered by BCMed.)
- CVAV pod. (Like being back in the Himalayas! Definitely not covered by BCMed.)
- Laser throat/palate surgery (/treatment?). More on this later. ($1500 not covered by BCMed.)
I’ll try a different APAP face apparatus because the one I tested didn’t cover my mouth and because I have gut issues: IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome in the form of leaky gut, low stomach acid and SIBO: small intestinal bacterial overgrowth—more on that in a moment), my nose gets congested at night and the APAP can’t get air through to my lungs so I unconsciously open my mouth to breathe causing the machine to hiss and fully wake me up.
Seriously, people, how am I even functioning?
Mid Blog APAP Update
I tried a different apparatus that covered my nose and mouth.
It not only made me look like I had an alien on my face and sound like Darth Vader, the change in pressure from nose to mouth breathing woke me up.
It didn’t work.
I’ll continue to work on healing the SIBO and I’ll lose 10 pounds (by going on the keto diet for real this time right after I’m finished the SIBO protocol) and get the other two of the three throat laser treatments.
I’m determined to do everything I can to get back to sleeping well without assistance!
Sleep Apnea Sucks Folks
Unless you have serious sleep apnea or insomnia, you have no idea how debilitating it is.
It’s like getting only a few hours sleep every night for years.
Actually, if you’ve had kids and were the one to get up in the middle of the night to care for the noisy, needy, er, I mean: adorable, sweet, little beasts beings, you do know how I feel.
It’s like having a colicky baby for the last five years and counting, people!
I shit you a very compact knot—#SIBO—some days I’m too tired to do anything.
I lay in bed all. day. long.
Awake but brain dead-tired and body exhausted from simulated tiger chases all. night. long.
It’s had a serious impact on my relationships (and lack thereof), career, finances and life in general.
End rant (and pity party)!
Hashimoto’s Disease
Basically, my immune system attacks my thyroid.
Thyroid regulates metabolism plus does a whole bag of other neat tricks.
I’d love to blame the weight gain on a slow metabolism, but in reality my muffin top is as likely a result of lack of exercise (exhaustion), ice-cream (comfort foods) and various stresses over the years. (Start here for those morbid details.) #cortisol
Medication helps me not become a blimp or slip into a coma and croak.
SIBO
Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth. Here’s the post on that.
After two years of all manner of investigation with many health care professionals and specialists; tests (food allergies, hormone, parasites, dental bacteria, heavy metals); colon hydrotherapy; colonoscopy; chiropractic; osteopaths; natural treatments; and prayer, I’ve resorted to Zaxine, an antibiotic. ($500 not covered by BCMed.)
I have officially invested more in restoring my health than I did on cosmetic enhancements that may be contributing to my ailments. #SickIrony #SeeMemoir
Again, before you make suggestions (in the comments below so others may benefit), yes, I have tried biofilm, Allimax (garlic), oregano oil, berberine, Neem, HCL, apple cider vinegar, pre-biotics, pro-biotics, erythromycin, neomycin, low FODMAP, SCD, CBD/THC and more.
No, fibre isn’t the answer for me. Bacteria eat fibre and I have an overgrowth of bacteria.
Steak. Steak and bacon are what I need, people! Field range and grass fed, of course. 😉
EMFs & Heavy Metals
Electromagnetic frequencies such as WiFi, dirty electricity, and Smarty Pants meters etc. can affect our health.
Heavy metals are in some vaccines, and do so cause health problems! (The heavy metals for sure, not necessarily the vaccines in and of themselves.)
These are not conspiracy theories, I totally promise. There are legit studies.
I consider EMF contamination a possibility simply because before moving to Vancouver, and after a few years of chelating heavy metals several years ago (from other sources), I had enough energy to hike the Anapurna Circuit (2014).
18,500′ above sea level!
That’s 160+km, folks. ( Or 100+ miles for y’all American friends! x)
Today, I’m lucky to get out of bed.
So, what happened since then?
Again, a lot of stressful experiences over the course of several years, but I also updated my vaccines before Nepal and moved out of rural Small Town to downtown Vancouver, city of WiFi galore.
I recently got retested for heavy metals and am still too high in lead and thallium amongst others.
Thallium is found in some supplements and in industrial air pollution. {Cough Chemtrails!}
Anyhoo…
It could be any combination of the above contributing to my sleep apnea.
So, I’ll continue to work on what I can.
Sing: Hello tinfoil hat, my old friend…hook me up to the IV, again…
Mid Blog Update 2 re: Laser Treatment
OMG! O.M.G.!
I slept!
Let’s not get too excited, it’s not like I had sex with Gerard Butler or anything.
But OMG, I slept!
It could be because I hadn’t slept in three nights trying out the APAP machine and wedge pillow (didn’t work) and was so exhausted there was no choice but a night of comatose repose or…
… the first of the three laser treatments already made a difference!
Let’s see if I sleep tonight sans machine or wedge.
Pray for me, people, please pray for me!!!
Mid Blog Update 3: Sleep 😞
Only a few nights of decent sleep, but let’s see what happens after my next laser treatment. 🤞
Well, I think that about covers it.
I hope the sleep apnea machine doesn’t make it’s way into my dreams (like the cast of The Blacklist have), because I don’t know if I can even dream about sex with Gerard Butler with soon-to-be itty-bitty boobies with an alien on my face while wearing a tinfoil hat.
But at least I don’t snore!
Not. A. Peep.
Say like Austin Powers: Do I make you Horny, Baby?
Which brings me to…
All of the above is why I’m off the market. I do not have the energy for anyone else right now.
xo AJ
p.s. I no longer receive blog email replies. Please post your thoughts in a public comment. 🙏
