Wanna Date? Shut. The. Front. Door! Project 50 first dates? Master Dater??? So, here’s the dealio. In case you’ve forgotten, I am now a (self-)certified Dating, Love and Relationship Coach—Expert! I mean, why not, right? I’ve studied love and relationships for years! Yes, because, like a mechanic’s broken down car, my own love life was […]
Facelifts and So Forth
What To Consider When Considering Cosmetic Surgery. Anxious and waiting—and possibly oozing beneath the mummified bandages—in the private clinic of a plastic surgeon’s office spotlighted by fluorescent lights … Me: The swelling isn’t that bad. Marilyn: I don’t know. I have no one to compare it to. I don’t know anyone who’s had a facelift […]
Flirting & Master Dater ShenANNAgins
How To Meet Single Men In Vancouver.. Or Not. A girl friend and I are strolling by a hole-in-the-brick-wall mysterious venue in Gastown when a tall, not unhandsome guy in retro military gear asks us, “Are you into fetish parties?” An army green 1940s BMW cafe racer with matching camo sidecar is parked beside this […]
What’s Wrong With Me??
This Blog Has Nothing To Do With Lesbianism And That’s Why I Changed The Title Y’all. (Just roll eyes and keep reading…) He’s got one latex-gloved finger deep in my mouth and the other stuck in my ear. I mumble something unintelligible, and he pulls his spittle-covered finger out of my mouth with a twist […]
And Then I Moved To Vancouver. I Think.
Episode One: The Silver Fox I flew over on Harbour Air. The water-landing five-seater delivered me from the harbour of my adulthood hometown to the harbour of downtown Vancouver. Forty minutes and 25 pounds of luggage, and I’m in the “big city.” The intention was to stay at a girl friend’s place while she is […]
Born-Again Virgin Seeks Semi-Chauvinist And Meaning Of Life. Or A Job. P.S. Vagina.
I’m at The Broken Spoke, an espresso-slash-bicycle shop. It reminds me of Deus Cafe in Venice, California, only Deus has pricey cafe racers and low quality coffee. The BS has affordable pedal bikes and rich, delish espresso. As a California-converted coffee snob, I now drive across town (seven minutes) for the best stuff: thick as […]
Spirituality and Skinny Dipping.
Back in Canada, in my adulthood hometown, I thought for sure I would need to turn to mind-altering-slash-life-numbing substances. Maybe not right away—summers are lovely here—but perhaps by autumn and definitely by winter when day”light” (daygray) hours are from 8:00am to 4:30pm. But a funny thing happened. I drove home from Los Angeles, made record […]
Hipsters, Crazies And Coffee.
I’ll Miss You, Too, La La Land … The Hipsters While “researching” this “article,” I sent an email to a gay, as in homo, as in homosexual homo-sapien—who I call J’Mo (his first name starts with J and, well, you get the rest). Anyway, I asked him how to tell the difference between a gay […]
Let’s Talk Razor Burn.
…Because Then She Shaved My Face… If you want a detailed list of the cosmetic procedures I’ve done to look baby-face fresh, you’ll have to read my memoir. Or at least skip to that chapter. Oh wait, details are sprinkled throughout. In that case, feel free to skim-read—though, you would be missing out on plenty […]
My Butt Has Fallen And It Won’t Get Up.
What Do You Call A Dinasour With A Stressed Rump? Mega Sore Ass. First off, if you call me a dinasour you gonna get word-whipped. Second, even though it’s not technically a middle-age birthday for me on May 24th (I hope, and, thank you), some days I do feel old. And, third, yes, I am […]
