When I was in Calgary, I read 40 books.
Not fluff books like Harlequin Romance (gag) and not novels or short stories by my literary heroines, Alice Munro and Margaret Atwood.
Nope, I read about self-development and psychology and other academic texts to advance my already fairly vast knowledge of human behaviour.
It is a wonder I’m so messed up. … Or, am I? *Raised eyebrow*
Maybe I act that way to prevent you from believing I think I’m emotionally superior. You ever think of that? I didn’t think so, Barbara.
(If there is a Barbara reading this, I apologize, it was meant for the other Barbara.)
But I digress.
Back to fast (fat) food…
What has reading 40 books have to do with binging at Rotten Ronnie’s for weeks on end?
Probably, nothing. It’s likely a side effect of lost brain cells, but I’m fairly certain I was going somewhere with this train of thought.
Oh yeah!
In my “down time,” I relax by watching dating guru advice videos and health videos. And a YouTuber, Chubbyemu, who’s video titles are the likes of —
- A woman drank 2 litres of water in an hour, here’s what happened to her kidneys
- A scientist spilled 2 drops of liquid mercury on her hand, here’s what happened to her
- A kid ate X # of laundry tabs, here’s what happened to his whatever
- A student ate 5 day old pasta, here’s what happened to his liver
You get the idea.
So, I’m the woman who ate at McD’s for a few weeks straight and here’s what happened…
Back to the scene of food indecency.
- I do not get reported in a Chubbyemu YouTube video.
- I do eat at McDoo-diddly-onalds obsessively because that shit tastes good and I get addicted to it.
Plus, coupons people!
The Rotten Ronnie App (not its official name) has enough deals to last a week! Plus, there are daily deals and soooo much more, folks.
Yes, the Golden Arches goes against my entire save-the-planet, eat-animals-ethically (if possible) value system, but this company has invested millions in making its food addictive and marketing it to us Vegans with loose morals.
They is smart, the marketing and product works. (Note: I’m not actually a Vegan even a little bit.)
I’m also hoping that by not explicitly naming The Burger Company I will save myself from certain jail time and the possibility of never eating a McRoyal with Cheese again.
How did I go from not eating at said establishment for 15 years to eating there every day?
Well, here’s the full meal dealio…
I’d taken up going grocery shopping with a girl friend every other Saturday and afterwards we’d go for lunch.
I figure since she gets gas — petrol not flatulence — and pays for parking, I’ll pony up for the cost of lunch.
But that’s still kinda costly on my end, so she convinces me to try McD’s.
Honestly 1: I resist for awhile, but then…
Honestly 2: I do love me a Big Magnus with extra Special Sauce — which they now call Mac Sauce, by the way.
So, after one time, I’m hooked.
And with the App as my pusher, well, it’s a slippery slope, my friend.
So, to assuage my guilt, I use my coupon to get the extra value meal dealio and then give the extras — fries, pop — away to the street people.
Win-win, folks, win to the win.
Plus, then I’m be able to get all health and wellness and enviro nazi superior on your asses. *Sideways glance*
Except all these savings are adding up to a small fortune.
I vow that as soon as I got through the whole new and expanded menu, I’ll kick the habit.
And that’s just what I’ve done. Minus one small junior burger relapse — $2 value every day, folks!
The main reason I can’t support Burger Heaven isn’t the inhumane conditions the animals may or may not come from because, let’s be honest, most restaurants — especially affordable restaurants — don’t offer field raised and finished anything.
The thing that bothers me is all the trash. And the mindset of the folks tossing their debris into said trash bin when right outside the door is a municipally supplied recycle centre.
McD’s, hear my plea, please provide in-store recycling options and compostable packaging.
So, what happened to me after eating there for two (cough: three) weeks straight?
I realize, ne, I experience the value and meaning of giving to people who have very little.
I don’t give out fast food anymore and I don’t travel miles out to pick up groceries I’d rather get at the little local grocer, but I still offer smiles and greetings to the street people and that seems to be enough for them.
I didn’t gain any weight. Go ahead, hate on me. But then again, I don’t drive anymore. I walk.
I wrote this over a month ago and have been Ronald MD’s clean ever since.
The fact that I’ve tried every other fast food outlet on the Granville strip hardly counts because I’ve kicked that habit, too. (As of this writing.)
Where do I get my 30 day badge?
Save the earth!
(But only if you want to.)
xo AJ
p.s. #Respect to environmentally friendly Vegans. I bow to you. No respect to environmentally un-friendly vegetarians (or vegans) who buy tons of packaged product and/or eat copious amounts of dairy products from companies running conventional dairy farms (read: jailed cattle) but wag their hypocritical finger at me. #BitchStillGotSomeFireInHer #SorryNotSorry
